Sunday, November 25, 2007

Screenwriters strike

Did you hear about the screenwriters strike that's giving serious headaches in the movie industries? Grandpa Milo did, and he has a great idea.
By: Grandpa Milo

Hey, big time Hollywood producers, I know you're worried.

I know you wake up in the middle of the night, afraid and confused, and you think it's because of this strike thing. But, you're wrong. The underlying problem is much more serious.
You see, like the US, you are also dependent. But, unlike the US, which is dependant on foreign oil, you cannot simply bomb Iran and overthrow Chavez to deal with your addiction.
Sure, some of you are hocked on crack, others on whore killing, and that's perfectly normal.
But you all have one in common, and it's a biggie.
You are dependant on those ex-class clowns, alienated college graduates and washed up poets.
You need your screenwriters, and you know it.
But, that's only what they want you to think. You can do it all without their smart-ass scribbling.

Simple - make your actors and presenters the writers!

Think it won't work? Think again - I didn't say they would be good. In fact, all would suck like crazy, because, well, no one became an actor because she or he was a good student. Majority was terrible, and this was their last option.
And that's exactly the point. Every movie, comedy or not, will be hilarious.

Just imagine - a spy action/thriller written by Keanu Rives!
A drama about a dying boy made by Sandra Bullock!
Science fiction flick written by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen!

We would laugh our pants off for sure.

And you don't have to stop with movies. TV shows, daily shows, late night shows - those people don't know anything about their gussets or the topics their covering. They would have to improvise or do their own material. Either way, they would expose themselves as ignorant, stupid, shallow persons, and we love to see that on TV. We wouldn't have to wait for their sex/drug use/aggressive behavior tapes to come out - we could see their embarrassment every night, all night!

Writers, who the hell needs you?
Go back to writing awful poetry and depression.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Beware, seniors use social networking sites!

Grandpa Milo explains why we shouldn't be surprised with the fact that elderly people use sites like FaceBook or Myspace.
By: Grandpa Milo

Newsflash - old people DO stuff!

My God! Some one should write a book about that. Even better, a really pointless movie that underlines facts that are known even to a retarded sable boy. Al Gore comes to mind.

Come on, people! Over-50s Invade the Social Networking Scene?

That's not news. We are old, not dead.
Seniors use sites - wow, can they dance to a funny song? Do they react to their reflection?
If you find this fact intriguing, here are a few more, equally astonishing revelations:

There are Chinese that don't know kung fu.
Some men of Irish descent don't like beer.
A black man standing on a street corner doesn't have to be a crack dealer.

In other words, dear narrow-minded reader, being a part of an imagined statistical group doesn't imply your lifestyle. Just like you, we, the above-50-crowd can use new technologies and reap the benefits of the telecommunication age. But when we learn new stuff, we don't have a need to shout it out, like you do, because we don't have to impress anyone in hope of getting laid.

We are either married and/or just don't care about sex anymore.