Sunday, July 1, 2007

Crafty MS

Microsoft has launched a new catchy slogan ''People ready Business '' that the majority doesn't quite understand. Read Grandpa decode these 3 mysterious words.
By: Grandpa Milo

People-ready Business

After I heard this new MS slogan my first reaction was probably similar to everyone else's.
I thought it was great! Although I heard many good slogans during my many years, such as ''Just do it'', ''Let's rebuild now'', ''who's your daddy?'' P-R-B immediately got a place in my hall of fame. I mean; it stuck with me like some kind of a strange, unidentified, tropical sexually transmitted diesis. I simply can't get it out of my head. Just yesterday, my kids and grandkids came to visit me. They asked me if I still had that annoying back pain, and I replied in an instant - ''People-ready Business''. Heh, can you imagine that! They all immediately assumed I developed Alzheimer's, and would die soon. Well, sorry to disappoint you, ungrateful bloodsuckers, but I'm not dying any time soon, thank you very much.

Why am I so infatuated with that simple slogan? After all, I can barely use a computer (and for me, it continues to be an over rated electric typing machine), Internet is 95% porn and 5% terrorist clubhouse, and soon, freakish robots will rebel and destroy humanity. I think like that, well, because I, like all seniors, have a deep, unreasonable suspicion about everything new.

Yet I love P-R-B, and here's why.

Nowadays, every new commercial and promotional campaign is built around some pathetic softy-softy idea. Animated street thug is suddenly starting to help everyone, and so should we (after a few Cokes, naturally); then there's that mobile phone ''there's a thing in my pocket'' commercial, telling us we are all different and special in our own way (even more if we all have the same silly phone). The list goes on, and even the major heavy industries are on the emotional train - oil giants like Shell and Texaco are doing the environmentally friendly routine, saving baby monkeys, building windmills, and planting trees on every TV screen around.
It makes me sick.
Companies shouldn't fight for the environment - what will all those lazy hippie stoners from Greenpeace do? I don't want my phone telling me I'm special; I want it to have longer battery life, and I don't care if the production process of that battery killed off a few endangered species. Most of all, I definitely don't want Coca-cola teaching me how to be a good citizen (I know a lot of you fat gamers out there are screaming about that GTA and how Coca-cola only made a parody; but believe me - you're still being brainwashed by it).

And that's why Microsoft ''People-ready Business'' is great - it's all about business. If you read it carefully, you'll realize it's not about you or me or Chinese children working in sweet shops; it's about business. That business is ready for people, and not the other way around. Some huge structure, totally independent from humanity and just seemingly run by real people is ready for more humans. It doesn't matter if you'll buy its product or work for it - it's ready for you, and it wants you - now. Your needs and desires are irrelevant, your emotions pointless. Business doesn't care about humanity, our global warming and bad TV channels; to it, we're just sustenance, and it needs us like an engine needs fuel or a T-Rex needed other dinosaur's flesh.
Henry Ford would understand that concept; so would Rupert Murdock and the Borg.
So forget how special you really are, or how renewable energy sources can save the planet, because good old hard business is back in business, and it's finished with all the fake bullcrap.

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