Friday, September 21, 2007 - boy, we'll believe anything

Don't know if you heard about it, but this story is awesome.

Everything began with the This site offers a service - it will, as you can probably conclude from the title - find marriage opportunities for girls. Their pages show a long list of girls, aged 13 to 17, alongside their short background, likes and don't likes, and a price tag. Yes, a price, ranging from 20K to almost 50K.
So, as a potential suitor, you pay, let's say, 35 000 $ to the parents and in return get their daughter to be your lawfully married wife.

Oh, the humanity! - public cried out when the news about this site reached the eyes and the ears of the forever concerned. Why, this is unmoral! Girls that young, off to get married to some old sick pervert who found this site while looking for his next hit of kiddie porn. It's pure evil, and although not strictly illegal, it sure as shit wrong - said the worried housewife to her equally worried neighbor.

But, guess what? It is not real.

You can't even call this a prank, because it is a full-blown parody. Here's why:

1. They show Google ads on every page. Sites that do business in that price range don't show other people's ads. It would be like having a store and a gigantic sign that reads: ''The store down the street is 10 times better.''
2. Their Customer Service Co-Ordinator is called Jarrod Hightower. That name is number 7. on the ''Top 100 stupid fake names''.

Of course, if you're a religious crusader for children rights or any other kind of moral defender, I guess you don't know a lot about the Internet or similar ''Devil products'', so you can be forgiven for believing this humorous site is real.
But, you could have at least read some of the testimonials - comments left by satisfied customers, or in this case, the parents that sold their daughters.

''Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn’t very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We’ve told our youngest that when she turns 15 we’re going to marry her off too! ''

This one should have been enough.

Anyway, just so you know, Magazine13 just opened an on-line service that lets you take a malnourished Somali child and drop him or her in a pool filled with sharks and acid. We charge 5$ per drop.
Write to your representative in Congress about our disgraceful and immoral business, and don't forget to bitch about it on your local talk shows.

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