Copper babysitters

Madelyn proposes a new use for the wired neural excitatory.
By: Madelyn


Hey, I know I don't know a lot about computers. If I did, I sure wouldn't let that a-hole MainE. destroyed our ranking at humor-blogs.com with his crappy editing and weak web-design. He even calls himself Main EDITOR, for Christ sake.

But, the geek idea - putting wires in the human brain - is just brilliant.
You see, they implant you with a batter/controller set, and it sends electrical signals through the wire that end up somewhere in your brain. The signals excite that particular zone, and thus create a change in your brain patterns. It's currently only used in the treatment of severe cases of epilepsy and clinical depression.

But, everybody is missing on big use for this.
Implanting it in children - on birth. But that's not all. When you come home from the hospital, you simply add them to your smart house system. After that, Hal 3000 will deal with them for the next 20 years.

I'm making no sense, right?

I'll describe my idea from a perspective of a 14-year-old boy.
His day starts around 8 in the morning.

Oh, man, my alarm clock is already ringing. No way I'm getting up, I'll sleep through the firs~
- weak electrical impulse -
I'm up. Now I'll pack up and make myself a healthy breakfast. Maybe I'll eat some candy~
- weak electrical impulse -
No candy, it's unhealthy. I can't find my math book - hey, there's my joint. We should smoke it later~
- weak electrical impulse -
I'll flush it down the toilet. Winners don't use drugs. And I'm a winner! I play football, although I hate it~
- weak electrical impulse -
I love football. Josh also plays in my team. I love when we sneak out and kiss and touch under the~
- weak electrical impulse -
I will say no to any form of homosexual activities, because I like girls. I will marry a girl one day and have children. Maybe touching a girl will fell as good as touching a boy~
- weak electrical impulse -
Of course, I will find that out when we are married in the eyes of church and state... I'm going to hang myself now!
- weak electrical impulse -
- weak electrical impulse -
No I won't. I'm off to school, because I like it.
- weak electrical impulse -
I LOVE!

See? It's a perfect upbringing, and it has a ''Intel inside'' sticker.