Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Come to the US and..

Madelyn explains a brilliant scheme that could recover the fledgling US economy.
By: Madelyn

Last night I got to some heavy thinking while I was doing some heavy drinking.
Let's face it - US economy is totally screwed. One Euro is what now, 1.43 dollars or something; folks, we're in one big pile of crap.

That whole story got me so down I simply had to clear my head in a bottle of vodka.

After one hour and few false ''through-up'' alarms, it hit me.
Euro - the solution to our problems.
I mean, the Europeans. Sure, they are up tight and pompous and have a knack for losing wars, but now, they got cash.
And what Europies like?
Drugs? Yes, but they can score easier at home that here.
Alcohol? They got better booze than we do.
High-tech crap? Sure, but not ours. You can't even use IPhone over there, and really, that all we got that isn't still in every Japanese pocket.
Sex, you wonder. But they have Netherlands and what not, and there it's 100% legal.
Yes, it is. But is also expensive.
We, the old and young, from all corners of our proud country, could sell our bodies and love techniques to them.
Their money is worth a lot more here.
Plus, honestly, the whole world masturbates to US porn. There isn't a guy in Europe that fantasizes about some 19-year-old trafficked Romanian peasant girl in a shady Amsterdam apartment; they want an all-American Barbie dolls with fake everything, to whom foreplay means deep-throat and 4-finger back door job.
The women crave some made-in-the-USA muscle, and I bet they dream about our firemen, police officers and pizza delivery boys. The homosexually oriented have an equally big selection.
They all want to do it by the poll, in the sun, while the elderly neighbors watch.

And we want them to come. If they can afford a plane ticket, they can't be poor. I'm sure they'll be polite and curious, and don't worry about sickos and serial killers; you have a bigger chance meting them in your 7-11.
The best thing is that no one has to know you sell your body to them - simply brag how your European cousins are coming for a weekend. After they leave, you can magically afford those brand new high heel Gucci shoos you wanted.
I guarantee this would recover our economy in months.
I can even see the CNN international commercial:

Come to the USA and get laid like a golden god - dirt-cheap.

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