Monday, February 4, 2008
Iran in SPACE!
Iran launched a missile that successfully reached space. While generals celebrate and party hard both in Washington and Tehran, Grandpa Milo gives his assessment of this remarkable feat of war engineering.
By: Grandpa Milo
What do you do when you open a brand new, shining space center?
Go have a drink in the local mercenary bar and pick a fight with a Jedi? No, God damn it, geek boys! You launch a big space ship/ballistic missile strait into the cosmos, of course. You have to check if the thing even works.
And it does. Although Iran claimed that they did this in February '07, we kind of didn't believe them, but I guess we believe them now. Maybe the Iranian general that made the announcement didn't burst into hysterical laughter this time, I'm not sure.
Well, we all know what will follow - Bush will do his ''their building their evil space empire'' speech, the Iranian President will replay ''we are just defending from YOUR eviler space empire'', and such and such. Later, both will ask their religious/financial masters: can we please, pretty please, go to war with those bastards, now?
They will leave sad, because the answer will still be no.
So, why is this even important, having in mind the all-out intercontinental conflict isn't coming?
Because the Iranians are planning to use this rocket to launch their very first home made satellite.
Imagine the business opportunity for all those TV networks - 80 million potential new viewers.
I bet it's a hungry market - it looks like they only have hateful news announcements over there.
I can see them going crazy for old ''Friends'' and ''7th Heaven'' episodes, or even the last, afoul ''X-file'' or ''Sex and the City'' seasons.
OK, maybe explicit sexual context wouldn't sell that good, having in mind the culture and all, but we could beep that out.
The studios should think hard about that - Iran could be the new big thing for television production.
OK, I know there are some folks that think Iranians will use the satellite as a spying tool.
Come on, they wouldn't build such an expensive thing simply to spy on the US second fleet or something.
My God, we already have Google Earth for that.